Corona ... Don't be a loner

I'd like to share some extracts of an article with you all. In these difficult times it may be of some help - and, at the end of the article I have added a few tips of my own...

Why We Crave Human Touch – And How To Survive Without It During Coronavirus

Huffpost - Rachel Moss - 11th March 2020

From leaning into a friend as you howl with laughter to shaking hands with a new acquaintance, there’s a gaping absence in our lives during these strange days of the coronavirus outbreak: human touch.

It may sound trivial, but the lack (or even prohibition) of physical contact with other people during this period of social distancing can have a real impact on mental wellbeing, particularly if you live alone, says counselling psychologist Dr Chloe Paidoussis-Mitchell.

“Now that human touch is restricted, many people will be triggered and start to feel psychologically isolated, emotionally unheld and mentally isolated, and socially excluded,” she tells HuffPost UK..... "For some, sadly this will be a trigger for depression, anxiety and feelings of upset, sadness, being deprived, being alone and being lonely.”

Psychotherapist Lucy Beresford explains that we crave touch because it plays a fundamental role in our very existence. “Touch is part of our life from the very beginning, at birth, and conveys love and care without words,” she says.

“Physiologically, some studies have shown that skin-on-skin contact releases oxytocin – dubbed the ‘happy hormone’ – which helps mothers bond with baby, or lovers bond as a couple. Psychologically, the cuddling, stroking, massaging and nurturing that happens to us as a baby conveys a sense of being looked after and loved,” she adds.

“We carry that imprint with us as adults, so that welcome touch from someone makes us feel adored, loved or trusted.”Other studies have suggested that hugs or massages can reduce levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, while triggering the release of serotonin, the hormone that regulates happiness.

If you’re someone who’s particularly tactile, this disruption to your usual hormone patterns could compound feelings of distress or anxiety....“Without realising it, we might even start to feel helpless. We can even feel bereft, as though we have lost our loved ones in some way,”

It is important to compensate in novel ways to maintain a sense of connection....trying a “virtual hug” if you’re having video calls with friends or family. “Virtual hugs may sound weird, but are actually good for you precisely because they are so hilarious – and laughter is the perfect stress-release,” she says. “When you next have a video call with friends or family, make time to hug yourself to them, and they back to you.”

Paidoussis-Mitchel recommends mindful meditation or yoga to release the stress hormone, plus spending time outside where possible, gardening, watching birds or listening to birdsong. “Any time in nature helps to sooth us and connect us to something bigger than ourselves. This reduces symptoms of depression, anxiety and isolation,” she says.

Now is a good time to practise your favourite self-care techniques, Paidoussis-Mitchel adds, whether that’s journaling, listening to podcasts, or repeating a positive manta. You could even take inspiration from others, such as all the people we’ve interviewed in our self-care series, What Works For Me.

Beresford says physical self-soothing can also make a big difference. “After a bath or shower, take time to massage in some moisturiser or body lotion (doesn’t have to be expensive) into your own skin, to adore your own body,” she says. “Mindful breathing is also a brilliant way to stay in your body, which is what touch helps us do.”

My note.... All excellent recommendations.... There is more you candy.... Stay Mindful. Really start to appreciate the things around you and your senses in a whole new way.

Life is busy and this can get stressful. This might mean we do not have time to really concentrate on things... Use some Mindfulness Techniques, even very simple things. It awakens your senses. It uses more of your senses; and in that way it helps fight against depression.

When you eat try not to always do this when your mind is also taken up by something else... (unless you find it particularly comforting to eat your meal whilst watching a feel-good movie). Really concentrate on each mouthful of the food... the look, the colour, the taste the texture... And the same when sipping a hot beverage... really take the time to notice how you enjoy each sip...

Another things you can do, already touched on in the above article - is to use aromatherapy oils and to enjoy the aroma and the feeling it gives you, enjoy the feel of the fabrics you wear... whether it be the feel of it against your skin or the touch of it with your hands... Enjoy the look fo flowers, the scent of them, the sky, the birds flying.... enjoy the way you move... notice the way you move....

Look at www.netflixparty.com Apparently there is a way people can watch and comment on a movie together... use Skype and Xoom and such like for video conferencing parties... maybe a group discussion, music, or karaoke session....

Helping others is also a way to feel good, knowing that you have contributed something. Perhaps dropping some provisions or medicine by someone's' door (even if you cannot make contact), having it posted to them, or contributing some money to a local organisation who is helping the housebound and the elderly. It spreads the love and the caring.

Finally, in order to remedy the lack of physical touch and contact, if that is an issue for you, massage your own body with a beautiful aromatherapy oil or other suitable product... when you slope cuddle a large soft pillow and imagine it is a person (the brain can often be fooled into not knowing reality from imagination); or actually cuddle your self by placing one harm over your body.... and also give yourself frequent hugs....

Keep in touch with colleagues, family and friends... sometimes, when we feel lonely we can imagine that no one really cares about us...It isn't necessarily the case. It could be that someone else is concerned about always making contact first, or they may feel secretly lonely or isolated, or might just be distracted with other matters... even a few short texts asking how someone is and seeing a virtual hug can ensure that someone feels a part of society and feels important to you.

Take good care of yourselves - stay safe.